Lent

Every Lent I go through this - well probably every almost spring, and it just coincides with Lent.  I feel so grumpy and sad and depressed and I think what the heck? Why is it making me feel so bad to do all this extra praying and fasting?  I wouldn't feel so bad about it if I had any feeling like it would get better after Easter, in fact it would make me feel very holy and great if I thought I was working toward something.

But the thing about being depressed and sad is that you don't feel like it's ever going to get better.  Not in 25 days and not EVER, maybe.  Every morning I drive the girls to school and since the time change (which is not killing me, by the way, lord lord do people complain about DST, sheesh!) it's SUPER dark out at 715 and people just do not put their lights on!  This morning it's raining and people were driving by me, on our pothole-ridden streets, without their lights on and just JUMPING from side to side to avoid their cars going into a sinkhole, but without their LIGHTS on.  In the dark.  Who does this?  What are they thinking?  "It's morning time so I don't need my lights!  The only lights you need are the lights you need at NIGHT!".  What the hell?

And also?  Everyone I see is texting.  EVERYONE.  No one will be put on their lights in the dark and no one will drive on the right side of the road and everyone is texting.  I am so tense and pinched up by the time I get home, I can't stand myself and it's not even 8:00 in the morning.

Yesterday I tried to get my stupid car fixed and my stupid phone fixed and both things went super badly.  I mean, I got the van fixed but I only got the recalled fuel pump fixed and not the broken window fixed and I got my phone fixed but it cost $100 and they were supposed to call by 1:00 and say that it was fixed and when I called at 2:00 to say how's it going, the guy said oh yes, it's done we just forgot to call, sorry.  They never called about the van either.  We just had to call and three times because they could never seem to find the car!  I mean, I don't know what to do with such b.s., I don't know how to move forward through life.

And now today it's raining and the walk into Felicity's preschool is approximately three miles and it has the crappiest drainage ever so you have to walk through giant puddles, SUPER slowly and you don't have an umbrella because Felicity has to carry it and everyone hates you because they can't get around your fat ass and the umbrella holding toddler.

Ugh.  UGH.  SO I came home and laid on the couch and slept all morning and I've gotten nothing done but I have a chance now to exercise but I just don't know if I will.  I don't want to.  I'm tired and cold and TIRED.