So. I was talking to a friend of mine the other night about tv shows, and I said how Mike doesn't like CBS shows and I don't either, really. We watch The Amazing Race and HIMYM, but that's it. My friend asked about Two and a Half Men, which I HATE and am completely flummoxed by. I do not understand why people like it. Anyways, she asked me why I didn't like it, and had I ever SEEN it? I said yes, I had seen it, plenty of times because it's on after Friends or something when I am nursing the baby and sometimes I can't get to the clicker, so I am forced to watch it.
I told her I don't like it because it's Anti-Catholic and she said, totally brushing me off, "oh, well, I'm not religious". (For the record, I also said I didn't think it was funny, Charlie Sheen seems like a gross pig to me and not a Lothario, and Jon Cryer's character seems gay, but isn't, which is weird). I didn't think anything of it at the time but I've been STEAMING about it ever since. I'm not religious?
What if I had said I didn't like it because it was Anti-Semitic? If it was racist? Anti-Homosexual? Anti-Woman? (It kind of is anti-woman, actually). The point is, she NEVER would have said "oh, I'm not a Jew!" if I had said it was anti-semitic. Or "well, I'm WHITE!" if I had said it was racist against Black people. I have said for a long time that Catholics seem to be the only group that it is acceptable to make fun of for profit, and this seems like a really solid example.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
What does the word Progressive mean?
I just was reading the blog of another mom of an autistic child and she says she's a 'progressive Christian'. I'm not sure but I think maybe that means 'pro-choice'. I have never heard anyone call themselves a "Progressive Catholic", I wonder why that is. I know someone who is a "Catholic for Choice", which is just *ridiculous* to me. I mean - be pro-choice but you just can't - you can't be Catholic and not against abortion. Now - politically, I suppose you can think what you want. I admit it gets murky for me, there. It's impossible to be against abortion and against the death penalty and find a political party that will work for you. But if someone thinks they can be a Catholic, a 'good' Catholic (for lack of a better term, you know what I mean) and be for abortion they are lying to themselves. Ha, and they are in good company, since we are all sinners, somewhere or other.
I just heard about the big deal about Curb Your Enthusiasm and the episode where Larry pees too hard and some of it gets on a picture of Jesus and the owners of the picture of Jesus (who keep the picture of their Lord and Savior in their ... bathroom?) think it's a miracle because it looks like Jesus is weeping in the picture. I saw the episode and I thought it was funny, but I (obviously) didn't think that part of it was funny. I thought it was so stupid - nobody would keep a picture of Jesus Christ in their bathroom! I also thought it was typical of kind of a "Jewish Humor", which seems to consist of making fun of Catholics. They also make fun of Jews and other Christians on this show, so it didn't really bother me. None of it bothers me and I can't imagine it bothers God, either. Really, Catholic League? Do we really think God cares about a show on HBO?
I just heard about the big deal about Curb Your Enthusiasm and the episode where Larry pees too hard and some of it gets on a picture of Jesus and the owners of the picture of Jesus (who keep the picture of their Lord and Savior in their ... bathroom?) think it's a miracle because it looks like Jesus is weeping in the picture. I saw the episode and I thought it was funny, but I (obviously) didn't think that part of it was funny. I thought it was so stupid - nobody would keep a picture of Jesus Christ in their bathroom! I also thought it was typical of kind of a "Jewish Humor", which seems to consist of making fun of Catholics. They also make fun of Jews and other Christians on this show, so it didn't really bother me. None of it bothers me and I can't imagine it bothers God, either. Really, Catholic League? Do we really think God cares about a show on HBO?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Behavior at Church
We don't take our kids to church, after they are walking. This is just so far, I mean, we are going to take them to church some day, of course. It's just really hard right now - Anthony is LOUD and we're just not where we should be communication wise with him, so I could say "be quiet for an hour and watch the Priest or I'll beat you" or whatever and he could understand it. Ditto Maria. Usually I go to Mass on Saturday night and bring the baby and then Mike goes on Sunday.
This week, though, we went together because his mom came up and stayed with Anthony and Maria. Saturday night's Mass would have been crazy, because it was the big festival night Mass and we didn't want to mess around with it. Veronica started to cry shortly after we got there so I took her out in the foyer and nursed her and she fell asleep for the rest of Mass. So she was good, but she is only a little baby, so it's never a problem with her. HOWEVER.
When I was out in the foyer, there was a kid out there SCREAMING. She was shrieking so loudly that I took V outside a little bit because I thought it would wake her. The girl was maybe Maria's age, around one anyway. She was tired? Maybe? Just hateful, I felt bad for her and for her parents, who just didn't seem to be able to fix it. She eventually quieted down and I sat on the choir loft stairs to nurse Veronica. Then another mom came out of church with two girls, maybe 4 and 2. The two year old kept dropping Goldfish on the floor and the mom was scooping them up but there was no garbage and she had nowhere to put them - I have been there. You can't eat them like you would at home, because we had yet to take Communion, so she was stuck. Then her husband came out of church and went whipping by with their son (I didn't know he had anyone with him yet, I was sitting so I could only see adults, tall people) and took him downstairs. He said something to the wife about how "he was being REALLY ANNOYING". Then I think he took the kid downstairs to spank him, because I heard the kid crying. SIGH.
I don't believe in corporal punishment for children, but I suppose it's none of my business. But I think it's tacky and weird and a little dangerous to go spanking your kid in the basement room of a church. I don't know how hard he hit him, but man - do you really want to get involved with a bunch of people seeing you spanking your child in public? Do you really want to involve YOUR CHURCH? As if there's not enough trouble. Then the guy brought the boy (maybe three years old?) back up and went back into church BY HIMSELF, leaving all three kids with the mom.
Eventually I was finished beating -ha ha I mean nursing - Veronica, so I took her back in. In the front row, I saw a couple I know with their FOUR boys. The youngest is brand new, maybe two months old, and was in a sling on the mom. The next oldest boy was weepy and sad. I figured he was maybe having a hard time with the baby, because he seemed super over attached to the mom. The older two boys were pretty good, especially for little kids, nobody was older than six, I'd say. But the Dad never even LOOKED at the kids, the mom had to do EVERYTHING. Between the mom alone with her three outside and this mom inside alone with her four, I was really confused.
Somehow I think it might be a religious thing for these people. As Catholics, we do venerate Mary and her role as mother, and I think that we do believe, as a Church, that mothers should ... well, mother. I think we're kind of into gender roles, is what I'm saying. I believe, and this may be controversial, that I was made to be a mother, specifically my children's mother and I don't think anyone could be better at it than I, even their father. I feed them with my body, I think I have better instincts, etc. I try (and fail by the minute) to imitate the Virgin Mary, and I ask her to pray for me. I'm down with the woman as mother thing.
BUT that never means that I don't need help with the kids! If my husband sat there as I struggled with the kids, or if he BROUGHT A MISBEHAVING CHILD OUT TO ME when I was there with the other two, I would not take it well. AT ALL. It seems like a cop out to me. I can't get over how much I see it in church, though, where I assume these couples also swore to love, honor and cherish. To me, abandoning your wife with the care of all your bad kids is not very loving.
This week, though, we went together because his mom came up and stayed with Anthony and Maria. Saturday night's Mass would have been crazy, because it was the big festival night Mass and we didn't want to mess around with it. Veronica started to cry shortly after we got there so I took her out in the foyer and nursed her and she fell asleep for the rest of Mass. So she was good, but she is only a little baby, so it's never a problem with her. HOWEVER.
When I was out in the foyer, there was a kid out there SCREAMING. She was shrieking so loudly that I took V outside a little bit because I thought it would wake her. The girl was maybe Maria's age, around one anyway. She was tired? Maybe? Just hateful, I felt bad for her and for her parents, who just didn't seem to be able to fix it. She eventually quieted down and I sat on the choir loft stairs to nurse Veronica. Then another mom came out of church with two girls, maybe 4 and 2. The two year old kept dropping Goldfish on the floor and the mom was scooping them up but there was no garbage and she had nowhere to put them - I have been there. You can't eat them like you would at home, because we had yet to take Communion, so she was stuck. Then her husband came out of church and went whipping by with their son (I didn't know he had anyone with him yet, I was sitting so I could only see adults, tall people) and took him downstairs. He said something to the wife about how "he was being REALLY ANNOYING". Then I think he took the kid downstairs to spank him, because I heard the kid crying. SIGH.
I don't believe in corporal punishment for children, but I suppose it's none of my business. But I think it's tacky and weird and a little dangerous to go spanking your kid in the basement room of a church. I don't know how hard he hit him, but man - do you really want to get involved with a bunch of people seeing you spanking your child in public? Do you really want to involve YOUR CHURCH? As if there's not enough trouble. Then the guy brought the boy (maybe three years old?) back up and went back into church BY HIMSELF, leaving all three kids with the mom.
Eventually I was finished beating -ha ha I mean nursing - Veronica, so I took her back in. In the front row, I saw a couple I know with their FOUR boys. The youngest is brand new, maybe two months old, and was in a sling on the mom. The next oldest boy was weepy and sad. I figured he was maybe having a hard time with the baby, because he seemed super over attached to the mom. The older two boys were pretty good, especially for little kids, nobody was older than six, I'd say. But the Dad never even LOOKED at the kids, the mom had to do EVERYTHING. Between the mom alone with her three outside and this mom inside alone with her four, I was really confused.
Somehow I think it might be a religious thing for these people. As Catholics, we do venerate Mary and her role as mother, and I think that we do believe, as a Church, that mothers should ... well, mother. I think we're kind of into gender roles, is what I'm saying. I believe, and this may be controversial, that I was made to be a mother, specifically my children's mother and I don't think anyone could be better at it than I, even their father. I feed them with my body, I think I have better instincts, etc. I try (and fail by the minute) to imitate the Virgin Mary, and I ask her to pray for me. I'm down with the woman as mother thing.
BUT that never means that I don't need help with the kids! If my husband sat there as I struggled with the kids, or if he BROUGHT A MISBEHAVING CHILD OUT TO ME when I was there with the other two, I would not take it well. AT ALL. It seems like a cop out to me. I can't get over how much I see it in church, though, where I assume these couples also swore to love, honor and cherish. To me, abandoning your wife with the care of all your bad kids is not very loving.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Miracle
I was reading the blog of a girl that I know, only on the Internet, not in real life, or IRL. She was saying how she can sort of understand why women who are lucky enough to get pregnant and have kids complain about them, because she complains about her dogs and she loves them, but she just can't understand WHINING about a miracle like being able to have children.
It was the whining that fell hard on my ear. Also, it might have made me feel guilty because I do my fair share (and probably some other people's) of complaining about how HARD my life is. Also, I just had a baby sixteen months after I had my previous baby and I may have complained about that a little bit. Or a lot.
I do talk a lot about how hard my life is, how bad my kids are, how shocked I still am that I just had another child. But doesn't everyone? I mean, in a way? NOT Mother Teresa, or lots of Good People, but regular people? I feel in many ways like I am just calling it like I see it - lots of days, being a mother can suck. My mom used to tell me, when Anthony was little, to 'think of the Blessed Virgin' and I would tell her, 'I'm pretty sure he's not the Son of God, Mom'. I do pray and ask the BVM to pray for me, I look to her for guidance and I say the Memorae a LOT.
Of course I recognize that my children, that all children, are miracles. I look at that baby's perfect little ear when she's nursing and I can't get over it. But that doesn't stop me from feeling tired the fourth time she's up in the night. I think Maria is gorgeous and beautiful and a slice of heaven but when she screams in my ear? It hurts. If Anthony stomps on my foot, which he does several times a DAY, it hurts! Even from his little miracle foot!
I try, try try to be grateful, and every day I fail. I am just, at this point, hoping to fail a little less. Or more quietly.
It was the whining that fell hard on my ear. Also, it might have made me feel guilty because I do my fair share (and probably some other people's) of complaining about how HARD my life is. Also, I just had a baby sixteen months after I had my previous baby and I may have complained about that a little bit. Or a lot.
I do talk a lot about how hard my life is, how bad my kids are, how shocked I still am that I just had another child. But doesn't everyone? I mean, in a way? NOT Mother Teresa, or lots of Good People, but regular people? I feel in many ways like I am just calling it like I see it - lots of days, being a mother can suck. My mom used to tell me, when Anthony was little, to 'think of the Blessed Virgin' and I would tell her, 'I'm pretty sure he's not the Son of God, Mom'. I do pray and ask the BVM to pray for me, I look to her for guidance and I say the Memorae a LOT.
Of course I recognize that my children, that all children, are miracles. I look at that baby's perfect little ear when she's nursing and I can't get over it. But that doesn't stop me from feeling tired the fourth time she's up in the night. I think Maria is gorgeous and beautiful and a slice of heaven but when she screams in my ear? It hurts. If Anthony stomps on my foot, which he does several times a DAY, it hurts! Even from his little miracle foot!
I try, try try to be grateful, and every day I fail. I am just, at this point, hoping to fail a little less. Or more quietly.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Faith and Illness
So I guess I have been thinking about how I reconcile the fact that Anthony has autism with my Faith. I read this one blogger, who I like a lot, and with whom I have a lot in common, except she is a former Christian and a present Atheist (I think) and I am not formerly Christian and am presently Catholic, so ... not at Atheist. BUT I love her and her writing and man - it never occurs to me to argue with people about why they believe or don't believe whatever they believe or don't believe. When they want to argue what *I* believe, it gets sort of dicey, but I don't find that with this blogger.
ANYWAY. She recently wrote about her non belief and specifically about not being able to reconcile how God can let bad things happen, specifically to children. I have a hard time with this too, of course, and I think even more specifically I think WHY do things happen to ME? Because I am selfish.
Growing up, my older brother was sick. He had a muscle disease, of the auto immune variety, and he was sick from the time he was nine and I was five, so ... all of my life, really. I used to pray every night that he would get better and he never did, really, BUT it didn't kill him either. Now I pray for him every night that he won't have too much pain and that he'll have the strength to get through his days. Also, I can be a complete bitch to him, so I pray that maybe I could lay off on that.
I think about my brother a lot when I think about Anthony, because I DO think all the time, WHY is my child autistic? WHY me? Why him? Why will I never know what it's like to just have a 'normal' three year old, four year old, whatever year old, first born? Where is my husband's little football playing boy? My brother literally never complained one time about his situation. I never heard him ONCE say "why me?" or question why he got sick, or why kids were so mean to him, or anything. I guess maybe he thought it wouldn't do any good?
I think that too - I think what good would it do for me to say "Well, this is IT then! I don't believe in GOD anymore, because he sent me this autistic son!" Because that autistic son is also my little Anthony, who is really beautiful and brilliant and funny and ... you know, my son. My first boy, my baby, my everything. I feel about him like everyone feels about their child. My heart swells with love for him all the time. I want everything to be great for him, I want him to find his place in the world and succeed in whatever it is that he does.
Maybe I had unrealistic expectations of motherhood? Maybe I'm being taken down a peg or two? I have always been a smartypants and I've always had opinions on things, so maybe this is God's way of making me be a better person, to be better to others? I don't know. I know that before I had kids, I used to say in Confession that I had such worries and doubts, and I felt faithless. My priest would say "Well, God got you this far" and I would think that's right. He did. And then I would go ahead and be doubtful and faithless anyway because I am DUMB. :)
Anyway. I am so grateful that I have my faith and I'm so grateful that I was married in the Church because I worry about everything and I mean EVERYTHING having to do with my kids, like everyone, but I never worry about my marriage or family failing. I do feel like God is on my side and I may never know why Anthony is the way that he is but who cares? What is the downside? That I love him and pray for him and think about him and want the best for him? Well, who doesn't?
Sometimes, when I am thinking about how hard I have it, and how I wish Anthony could just ... be 'normal', or whatever, I think about how maybe in Heaven he will talk to me. And he'll say "I love you" and "thank you", or maybe he'll say "No!" or something that I long to hear from him. But it will FEEL like it's happening right now. Maybe it's THAT magical. I hope so. And I'm willing to try and get there to find out, because that child talking to me is the closest thing to Heaven that I can imagine.
ANYWAY. She recently wrote about her non belief and specifically about not being able to reconcile how God can let bad things happen, specifically to children. I have a hard time with this too, of course, and I think even more specifically I think WHY do things happen to ME? Because I am selfish.
Growing up, my older brother was sick. He had a muscle disease, of the auto immune variety, and he was sick from the time he was nine and I was five, so ... all of my life, really. I used to pray every night that he would get better and he never did, really, BUT it didn't kill him either. Now I pray for him every night that he won't have too much pain and that he'll have the strength to get through his days. Also, I can be a complete bitch to him, so I pray that maybe I could lay off on that.
I think about my brother a lot when I think about Anthony, because I DO think all the time, WHY is my child autistic? WHY me? Why him? Why will I never know what it's like to just have a 'normal' three year old, four year old, whatever year old, first born? Where is my husband's little football playing boy? My brother literally never complained one time about his situation. I never heard him ONCE say "why me?" or question why he got sick, or why kids were so mean to him, or anything. I guess maybe he thought it wouldn't do any good?
I think that too - I think what good would it do for me to say "Well, this is IT then! I don't believe in GOD anymore, because he sent me this autistic son!" Because that autistic son is also my little Anthony, who is really beautiful and brilliant and funny and ... you know, my son. My first boy, my baby, my everything. I feel about him like everyone feels about their child. My heart swells with love for him all the time. I want everything to be great for him, I want him to find his place in the world and succeed in whatever it is that he does.
Maybe I had unrealistic expectations of motherhood? Maybe I'm being taken down a peg or two? I have always been a smartypants and I've always had opinions on things, so maybe this is God's way of making me be a better person, to be better to others? I don't know. I know that before I had kids, I used to say in Confession that I had such worries and doubts, and I felt faithless. My priest would say "Well, God got you this far" and I would think that's right. He did. And then I would go ahead and be doubtful and faithless anyway because I am DUMB. :)
Anyway. I am so grateful that I have my faith and I'm so grateful that I was married in the Church because I worry about everything and I mean EVERYTHING having to do with my kids, like everyone, but I never worry about my marriage or family failing. I do feel like God is on my side and I may never know why Anthony is the way that he is but who cares? What is the downside? That I love him and pray for him and think about him and want the best for him? Well, who doesn't?
Sometimes, when I am thinking about how hard I have it, and how I wish Anthony could just ... be 'normal', or whatever, I think about how maybe in Heaven he will talk to me. And he'll say "I love you" and "thank you", or maybe he'll say "No!" or something that I long to hear from him. But it will FEEL like it's happening right now. Maybe it's THAT magical. I hope so. And I'm willing to try and get there to find out, because that child talking to me is the closest thing to Heaven that I can imagine.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Reminder to Myself
I want to talk about religion and autism, but I'm not sure how. I feel that my faith has certainly been tested since I've had these children, not just by the fact that Anthony is autistic but by both (all three!) of them, really. I want to talk about vaccines and autism, and social contracts and vaccines and autism and morals. I want to talk about how I never worry that my husband and I will end up divorced, like 99% of parents of autistic children (ha - I am exaggerating but LORD it's high, or at least it's supposedly high) because I feel like no matter what happens with us, God is on our side. I am trying to have the best marriage and family that I can, and I try to use the Holy Family as a model. I know that even though I sometimes feel like I have been forgotten, like poor sweet Anthony has been forgotten, it's not true. I feel in my heart that we are being taken care of, just held in the palm of His hand. I am glad I'm a faithful person, and maybe I'm fooling myself, but in the meantime, it works for me.
I want to write about all this stuff but I don't have time because as I just told Mike, this kitchen looks like a bomb hit it and I've got to clean it up a little before bedtime.
I want to write about all this stuff but I don't have time because as I just told Mike, this kitchen looks like a bomb hit it and I've got to clean it up a little before bedtime.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Oh, You Crazy Old Grey Lady, You
So Dolan is now the Archbishop of NYC and God help us all. I don't know a lot about him, but I do know that there has been some CRAZY goings on in Milwaukee and Mike and I went to a LUNATIC Mass up there several years ago (this was before Mike was Catholic and I thought we'd lose him there for sure!). I guess actually Dolan replaced the loon that was Bishop there before? But anyway this article in the NYT cracks me up.
Some of the highlights of the awesome "journalism" going on:
He greeted an overflow crowd of more than 3,000, reading from a sheet of yellow legal paper as he recognized some of the prominent people in attendance, and giving a special mention to a contingent of New York City firefighters and their commissioner, Nicholas Scoppetta.
Really? Was it YELLOW legal paper? Not RED? Or plain WHITE? Interesting!
Also:
Afterward, some who attended the Mass said they were pleased with Archbishop Dolan, who previously led the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. “His focus is on the Catholic point of view,” said Vicki Miano, a registered nurse from the Bronx, “and if he keeps doing that he’s going to bring a lot of enthusiasm to the church.”
The Catholic point of view, Vicki? What view did you think he'd focus on? Maybe, I tell myself, she meant the catholic point of view, meaning 'of the people', but since it's capitalized, I doubt it.
Lastly:
He (Dolan) did not refer to it, but there is conflict between Catholic dogma and scientific conventions on several fronts, including the medical definition of brain death, the legal definition of the beginning of human life and the ethics of embryonic stem cell research.
This sentence is TERRIBLE. Catholic dogma does not set the LEGAL definition of human life. Scientific conventions don't care about the ETHICS of embryonic stem cell research. The hell? Does anyone still consider this trash to be a good newspaper?
(via Amy Wellborn)
Some of the highlights of the awesome "journalism" going on:
He greeted an overflow crowd of more than 3,000, reading from a sheet of yellow legal paper as he recognized some of the prominent people in attendance, and giving a special mention to a contingent of New York City firefighters and their commissioner, Nicholas Scoppetta.
Really? Was it YELLOW legal paper? Not RED? Or plain WHITE? Interesting!
Also:
Afterward, some who attended the Mass said they were pleased with Archbishop Dolan, who previously led the Archdiocese of Milwaukee. “His focus is on the Catholic point of view,” said Vicki Miano, a registered nurse from the Bronx, “and if he keeps doing that he’s going to bring a lot of enthusiasm to the church.”
The Catholic point of view, Vicki? What view did you think he'd focus on? Maybe, I tell myself, she meant the catholic point of view, meaning 'of the people', but since it's capitalized, I doubt it.
Lastly:
He (Dolan) did not refer to it, but there is conflict between Catholic dogma and scientific conventions on several fronts, including the medical definition of brain death, the legal definition of the beginning of human life and the ethics of embryonic stem cell research.
This sentence is TERRIBLE. Catholic dogma does not set the LEGAL definition of human life. Scientific conventions don't care about the ETHICS of embryonic stem cell research. The hell? Does anyone still consider this trash to be a good newspaper?
(via Amy Wellborn)
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