NFP - the Way to be!

I have a million thoughts about NFP, a million times a day, it seems, but that's mostly because I am 31 weeks pregnant and my daughter is only 14 months old! So my first thought about NFP, always, is HOLY CRAP! I have been greatly comforted by some NFP'ers on line and I want to say something about NFP in case someone is ever looking.

I just read an article in this magazine that we get from the Couple to Couple League. We belong to the League, I guess, because we bought a NFP kit from them last year. In fact, I got pregnant when we were charting for the first time ever! I literally was like, WHY am I running out of spaces for days on this chart? Is it because it's day FORTY of my cycle? And then I was like heeyyyyyy, WHY am I on day FORTY of my cycle? Perhaps I should go get a pregnancy test. Ugh, I feel like such a dope when I think about it! I have since read that when you are first charting, especially when you are breastfeeding, you are supposed to not have sex for like three months until you figure out your cycle. Ha. Noted. NOW.

So this article poses the question Is Using NFP Hard? There's a great answer written by a woman who has .... 11 children! It's interesting though, because she and her husband contracepted for the first three years of their marriage and only used NFP because in the three years that they were using contraceptives, they had three kids and she thought NFP might work better!

This will never be an issue for me, unless I am like Elizabeth or something, because I am already over 40 so I doubt there are 8 more pregnancies in my future. Also? I really really hope there aren't, as I can't think of many things I dislike more than being pregnant, except maybe having a newborn. Ha!

BUT the woman who wrote the article pretty much said that she and her husband, overall, are happy that they are using NFP, even though it's hard. And I thought of course it's hard, but that's not all it is. It's also easy and natural. Not natural in the sense of nature but natural in that it always feels good and is easy to do what God wants us to. Even if I am miserable, or worried, or think 'how can I do this? How can I take good care of Anthony, who is autistic, or Maria, who will only be16 months old when I have this next baby, and really give them ALL one hundred per cent?', even when I think that, I also think, 'I can'. Because anything is possible with God and I know it. I know that God wants us to have this baby too. I am hoping that I know that God is sending me a good, sweet, sleepy baby. Ha! I am not sure of that, but I am hoping.

It's also easy to make a decision that has been made for you. I could no more live with myself if we used artificial contraception than if I were having an affair or beating my children. I am a person who believes in the Rules of the Church, and I just can't break any of them. I mean, of course, I am a sinner and I make mistakes but I can't - I couldn't, like, go to confession and just leave out that we were using artificial contraceptives, as many of my friends do.

As for the one billion friends (and family members!) who are Catholic but still use artificial contraception, I say, you are full of shit, and if that sounds harsh and un-Christian, well, just know that I am praying for all of you that you get less full of shit. In many ways, the Church is to blame. I am always complaining to my husband that our priest never mentions ANYTHING about contraception or NFP, but recently our priest said that he didn't talk about sex during Mass because there were children present and it's not his choice to decide when parents talk to their kids. We don't take our kids to church with us, so I sometimes forget that this is an issue. I still think that in a parish like ours, we have enough young couples that we could offer an NFP class, or at least provide families with information.

It's like this - I know that we are all clear on the Big Sins. We all know about murder, and theft, and sex outside of marriage, etc. What people don't seem to know, or think, is that they are all the same. Sin is sin, right? Mortal sin? I can't believe how cavalier so many people I know, and their priests, seem to be about artificial contraception.

I owe a lot of our knowing the importance of NFP to our nun friend, who taught my husband when he was in RCIA. We were engaged the whole time he was in RCIA and she talked to us about it right away, which was somewhat embarassing at the time, but for which I will be forever (and beyond!) grateful. I also appreciate the way that Catholic Radio addresses the situation, although I guess maybe some of that is through commercials.

So. In short, I am glad we use NFP and I look forward to putting it into practice after I have this next baby in what I consider to be the RIGHT way. We are going to discern monthly what we think God wants us to do and really try to be open to whatever that is, even if it doesn't make immediate sense to us.