I will always, always come down on the side of the Church when I can. I try and really find out about what the Catechism says about things so that I can make sense of them. Like, I used to not understand about why Catholics shouldn't use artificial birth control, it made NO sense to me, but it does now. I have done a lot of reading about it and, not to be lame, praying on it and I get it now. But I do not get this.
Why would the Catholic church annul a marriage that took place outside of the church? I recognize that a marriage is a marriage is a marriage to the Church, but I thought it was hard to get a marriage annulled. I thought there were specific reasons, like (and this might not be all of them but just off the top of my head) say, the person you married was crazy and didn't say that. Or say they claimed they wanted kids and then didn't. Or, abandonment is a big one.
I remember when my Uncle got married it was very important to him that his fiancee get her first marriage annulled because he wanted to get married in the Church. This was like 30 years ago and we were all on tenterhooks, would she get the annulment or not? But she did and they got married and all was well. But she had a daughter, my cousin, and I remember my sister and I saying, what happens to her? Where does a child fit in an annulment situation? The Catechism says that of course it doesn't make a child illegitimate but I wonder what does it mean, then?
I can see that if you get married in the Catholic church that the church should be responsible for that sacrament. I can see that if I got married to Mike and he said Ha ha! I didn't mean any of that RCIA stuff and I am never going to have a child and also I am a raging alcoholic and I beat my last wife to death, I could say, um, I can't be married to him anymore. BUT Mike and I went through pre-marriage counseling and we were encouraged to talk about everything. The church was responsible for it, they seemed to take it seriously and I did, too. So I can see how they would have jurisdiction over my marriage. But I don't see how they'd have jurisdiction over some marriage that took place outside of the Church. It doesn't make any sense.
I do wonder a few things - like, if you're not Catholic and your ex gets your marriage annulled in the Church, why does it matter? But there was some sort of court involved, could it be an actual court? Also, I was wondering about Joe Kennedy's divorce and annulment. I remember that he wanted it but his wife was against it, (she was Episcopalian but maybe their kids were Catholic? As Catholic as any Kennedy is, I guess?) and I just googled it and I had forgotten she wrote a whole BOOK about it but anyways, the Vatican has reversed his annulment. I didn't know that, nor did I know that he got married civilly, which, what the hell? Why did he care, then?
Anyways. I could see if we lived in Ireland before whenever they changed their No Divorce rule, or in some Catholically run country but the Church doesn't run the United States? Who cares what they think with regard to a marriage that didn't take place in their Church? I mean, I care, but I recognize that others do not, that other people aren't Catholic. I feel that way about birth control too. I mean, I get impatient with Catholics who purposely work against the rules of the church, and still consider themselves to be 'good Catholics' but if someone isn't Catholic? Why would I care about whether or not they use birth control? Sheesh.
Anyway. If anyone knows why the Church is involved in annulling marriages which they had no part of, let me know.
