What am I cooking?
I am making whole wheat spaghetti with meat sauce for dinner. I am trying desperate to use all of our food before we move in two weeks. It might make for some interesting meals!
What are my weekend plans?
We're supposed to go out tonight and try a new beer at one of our favorite downtown bars. Tomorrow night I'm supposed to go to a Mom's Night In at a friend's house and Sunday afternoon Mike and I are going out to lunch while my MIL comes up to spell us for a while. It's all questionable, as everyone has been kind of sickly around here.
What are my prayer intentions for the day?
The kids have been sick, so I am praying for them and also praying in gratitude for their relative good health. I am praying that we get through our move okay. I am always praying for a miracle for Anthony.
What can my children do instead of watching T.V?
Nothing, apparently. Maria has been lying on the couch all morning, sick. Veronica and I went upstairs before and she played with her stuffed animals, she puts them to bed, says "shhhh!". It's cute.
What have I done for my marriage this week?
Just the usual, I guess. I am trying to not be too needy.
What am I reading?
I don't think I've read one thing this week!
What’s challenging me lately?
I am filled with worry about this move, and Anthony, and our life and our future. I wish I could just chill out and trust God. I know I should.
Something that made me think?
Whenever my kids are sick with some small illness or bug, I think of people whose kids are really ill and I wonder how anyone survives it.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thoughts for Thursday - Saturday Edition :)
I'm just behind on everything this week.
What am I cooking?
I've cooked exactly nothing today, but I did make an excellent black bean burger this week that I really enjoyed. Here's the recipe: http://brokeassgourmet.com/articles/black-bean-burgers-with-sriracha-aioli
Next time, I'd have more things to dress it up, like avacado, or lettuce and tomato. I also have to serve it with more. I didn't think I'd have time to make them on Thursday and then I did, so we only had chips with it and it wasn't enough. Maybe potatoes and a veg, or pasta salad and salad. But they were great!
What are my weekend plans?
I went out to dinner last night with my sister and a friend and I went to bed around midnight, which of course I regret because A was up at 4:30. 4:30! Tonight Mike and I are going out to dinner, we were supposed to go play cards but it got canceled because our friend who was hosting has a sick kid. I am going to Mass tonight and Mike tomorrow.
What are my prayer intentions for the day?
A friend of mine's ex-husband died very suddenly this week, so I am thinking of her. I have another friend who is having a baby soon, her first and I'm praying for her and her family. I started in a little prayer group this week and I'm praying for the women I met there and their families. As always, my little kids.
What can my children do instead of watching T.V?
We are playing outside, which SURELY must be the last chance. Also I am packing up the downstairs, and they are playing htere.
What have I done for my marriage this week?
We had a rough morning on Wednesday and Mike had plans to go out right after work, and I tried to keep everything going well so that I wouldn't sound desperate when I said "have fun, we're fine!". I wanted to really be fine and it worked.
What am I reading?
I'm still reading Half a Life and I'm doing some reading for this prayer group I'm in.
What’s challenging me lately?
I'm so tired. It's hard to not get depressed when you are so tired and people are so unhappy around you.
Something that made me think?
Hmmm. Because we were talking about God and marriage this week, I thought about my marriage a lot. I also think, often, what would I do without God? What would I do if I didn't have faith in something? I would like to be more appreciative of my life and my faith and stop acting like I don't believe what I believe.
What am I cooking?
I've cooked exactly nothing today, but I did make an excellent black bean burger this week that I really enjoyed. Here's the recipe: http://brokeassgourmet.com/articles/black-bean-burgers-with-sriracha-aioli
Next time, I'd have more things to dress it up, like avacado, or lettuce and tomato. I also have to serve it with more. I didn't think I'd have time to make them on Thursday and then I did, so we only had chips with it and it wasn't enough. Maybe potatoes and a veg, or pasta salad and salad. But they were great!
What are my weekend plans?
I went out to dinner last night with my sister and a friend and I went to bed around midnight, which of course I regret because A was up at 4:30. 4:30! Tonight Mike and I are going out to dinner, we were supposed to go play cards but it got canceled because our friend who was hosting has a sick kid. I am going to Mass tonight and Mike tomorrow.
What are my prayer intentions for the day?
A friend of mine's ex-husband died very suddenly this week, so I am thinking of her. I have another friend who is having a baby soon, her first and I'm praying for her and her family. I started in a little prayer group this week and I'm praying for the women I met there and their families. As always, my little kids.
What can my children do instead of watching T.V?
We are playing outside, which SURELY must be the last chance. Also I am packing up the downstairs, and they are playing htere.
What have I done for my marriage this week?
We had a rough morning on Wednesday and Mike had plans to go out right after work, and I tried to keep everything going well so that I wouldn't sound desperate when I said "have fun, we're fine!". I wanted to really be fine and it worked.
What am I reading?
I'm still reading Half a Life and I'm doing some reading for this prayer group I'm in.
What’s challenging me lately?
I'm so tired. It's hard to not get depressed when you are so tired and people are so unhappy around you.
Something that made me think?
Hmmm. Because we were talking about God and marriage this week, I thought about my marriage a lot. I also think, often, what would I do without God? What would I do if I didn't have faith in something? I would like to be more appreciative of my life and my faith and stop acting like I don't believe what I believe.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thoughts for Thursday
My sister told me about this, it's from a blog that we both read called buildingcathedrals.com. Well, it's called Building Cathedrals, but that above is the address. You know what I mean. I just want to give credit where credit is due. I like the idea of 'checking in' weekly, but Lord only knows if I'll be able to do it. I'll give it a whirl:
What am I cooking?
Today I baked a cake for Mike's birthday, just from a box, because he likes a yellow cake and what is the point, I figure, of making a yellow cake from scratch when the people at Betty Crocker have already put it all together for me? I'm not fond of icing from a can, though, so I made some and WOW is it good. I made a double batch, the first batch didn't seem like enough. He likes yellow cake with chocolate icing and pecans, so as soon as everything cools, I'll ice it and put the pecans on. I'm happy with it all, looks-wise, so far, and that's half the battle, for me. We're having Cinnamon Carbonara today for dinner, Mike's mom and her husband and his sister and her girlfriend are coming over for dinner. His birthday is tomorrow, his last one in this house! I remember when he was only 36. :)
What are my weekend plans?
See? I should have done this on Thursday, but I'll backtrack. Friday night we had eggs for dinner and went to see a show called The Belle of Amherst, about Emily Dickinson. It was a one woman show and although I thought it was a SKOSHE long for a one woman show, overall I loved it. I thought the actress was wonderful, it was nice to see a play with Mike, which I haven't done for a long time, and the tickets were free! My sister babysat, which was also nice. Yesterday we went to the park, I went to Mass and then the grocery store. Today we're having birthday dinner.
What are my prayer intentions for the day?
I always pray for my children, especially Anthony, that his mind can be eased a little bit, today. I pray that he can get his sensory system in order and feel good and happy. I have a new friend on Facebook that I made, and her son just got diagnosed with autism, so I am praying for him and for her family, too. I always think of my cousin Sean around this time of year, tomorrow was his birthday. He died when he was 21 and I think he would have been 44 tomorrow.
What can my children do instead of watching T.V?
Play outside, today and tomorrow. It's going to warm up. They can also 'help' me with packing. Hopefully they can take a nice restorative nap today, as they were up early, because of the time change.
What have I done for my marriage this week?
I got up this morning with the girls! I want to be more mindful of not taking advantage of Mike and the fact that he always, always gets up with them. Now that I am sleeping more regularly, there's no reason I can't get up too.
What am I reading?
I'm finishing a novel called One Day, and I'm moving back to a memoir of sorts, it's called Half a Life.
What’s challenging me lately?
I wish I could be better on my diet. I wish I could be committed to exercising and eating better. I wish I could lighten up.
Something that made me think?
Meeting my new FB friend made me think about Anthony and when we got his diagnosis and how far we have come. I remembered trying to practice saying "Anthony has autism", like, in the car before I got places, so that I wouldn't cry when I said it. It rarely worked but I like to feel prepared. Anyways, it's better now, so I hope I can remember that no matter how bad it feels at the time, it always does get better. So far, anyway.
What am I cooking?
Today I baked a cake for Mike's birthday, just from a box, because he likes a yellow cake and what is the point, I figure, of making a yellow cake from scratch when the people at Betty Crocker have already put it all together for me? I'm not fond of icing from a can, though, so I made some and WOW is it good. I made a double batch, the first batch didn't seem like enough. He likes yellow cake with chocolate icing and pecans, so as soon as everything cools, I'll ice it and put the pecans on. I'm happy with it all, looks-wise, so far, and that's half the battle, for me. We're having Cinnamon Carbonara today for dinner, Mike's mom and her husband and his sister and her girlfriend are coming over for dinner. His birthday is tomorrow, his last one in this house! I remember when he was only 36. :)
What are my weekend plans?
See? I should have done this on Thursday, but I'll backtrack. Friday night we had eggs for dinner and went to see a show called The Belle of Amherst, about Emily Dickinson. It was a one woman show and although I thought it was a SKOSHE long for a one woman show, overall I loved it. I thought the actress was wonderful, it was nice to see a play with Mike, which I haven't done for a long time, and the tickets were free! My sister babysat, which was also nice. Yesterday we went to the park, I went to Mass and then the grocery store. Today we're having birthday dinner.
What are my prayer intentions for the day?
I always pray for my children, especially Anthony, that his mind can be eased a little bit, today. I pray that he can get his sensory system in order and feel good and happy. I have a new friend on Facebook that I made, and her son just got diagnosed with autism, so I am praying for him and for her family, too. I always think of my cousin Sean around this time of year, tomorrow was his birthday. He died when he was 21 and I think he would have been 44 tomorrow.
What can my children do instead of watching T.V?
Play outside, today and tomorrow. It's going to warm up. They can also 'help' me with packing. Hopefully they can take a nice restorative nap today, as they were up early, because of the time change.
What have I done for my marriage this week?
I got up this morning with the girls! I want to be more mindful of not taking advantage of Mike and the fact that he always, always gets up with them. Now that I am sleeping more regularly, there's no reason I can't get up too.
What am I reading?
I'm finishing a novel called One Day, and I'm moving back to a memoir of sorts, it's called Half a Life.
What’s challenging me lately?
I wish I could be better on my diet. I wish I could be committed to exercising and eating better. I wish I could lighten up.
Something that made me think?
Meeting my new FB friend made me think about Anthony and when we got his diagnosis and how far we have come. I remembered trying to practice saying "Anthony has autism", like, in the car before I got places, so that I wouldn't cry when I said it. It rarely worked but I like to feel prepared. Anyways, it's better now, so I hope I can remember that no matter how bad it feels at the time, it always does get better. So far, anyway.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Confession and Vocation
This is not a confession, it's about Confession, aka Penance, or the more obnoxious (to me) Reconciliation. Ugh. I like Confession and I think penance is what you get when you go.
The other day on my board, someone mentioned their cousin was making her first Penance and another person asked what that was. I said it was when you make your first Confession and someone ELSE clarified that Confession meant confessing your sins to a Priest. I thought that was a bit much - I think people generally know what Confession is, since people on tv and in movies are CONSTANTLY going to Confession, especially if they are not Catholic. Oh does that GRATE on my NERVES.
There is this baseball player who was an Oakland prospect who is leaving baseball to become a priest. I was listening to Dan Patrick on ESPN Radio, he was interviewing the guy and he asked him something about confession, I think swearing, maybe? Does he confess swearing? And the guy answered, laughing "every week". Dan Patrick went on to say that he remembered confession! And he used to count how many times he disobeyed his parents! Ho ho ho, it really seemed to stir up some memories for Dan. He didn't seem to be *not* Catholic anymore, I truly think that he thinks that Confession is for little kids and maybe people who are becoming Priests?
He's wrong. You're supposed to go to Confession once a year, a rule of the Church, and really you should go more often that that, really whenever you are aware of mortal sin. As my priest says, the Pope goes to Confession once a week and if HE can think of things to confess, I suppose we all can.
We're lucky that we have Confession available to us at our church all the time. I didn't go for a LONG time, like more than 20 years, but once Mike went through RCIA and before I got married, I went back and have been going regularly ever since. My sister goes now, too, which I think is lucky. I feel like we gained a lot by bringing Mike into the church, I feel like we got brought in a little bit more.
On vocations - Oprah had nuns on her show yesterday and they were so nice and sweet. They seemed so, so sure of their vocation and of course they weren't going to go on Oprah and cry about "I've made a terrible mistake" but I was jealous of them and their conviction. I do feel that I have been called to be a married person and I know that I have these kids and must be called to be their mother, but man. I am so, so bad at it. I was wishing I could just go to that damned cloister and play field hockey with those nuns and not have to be anyone's mother yesterday. I wish I felt more convinced of my vocation. Seven years those nuns have to go before they take their final vows! Seven! I am not even seven years into motherhood and already I feel like a failure most of the time, I wish I had ... what? Thought about it more? Prayed about it more? Ugh I don't know. They were nice, those nuns, is all. They seemed happy.
The other day on my board, someone mentioned their cousin was making her first Penance and another person asked what that was. I said it was when you make your first Confession and someone ELSE clarified that Confession meant confessing your sins to a Priest. I thought that was a bit much - I think people generally know what Confession is, since people on tv and in movies are CONSTANTLY going to Confession, especially if they are not Catholic. Oh does that GRATE on my NERVES.
There is this baseball player who was an Oakland prospect who is leaving baseball to become a priest. I was listening to Dan Patrick on ESPN Radio, he was interviewing the guy and he asked him something about confession, I think swearing, maybe? Does he confess swearing? And the guy answered, laughing "every week". Dan Patrick went on to say that he remembered confession! And he used to count how many times he disobeyed his parents! Ho ho ho, it really seemed to stir up some memories for Dan. He didn't seem to be *not* Catholic anymore, I truly think that he thinks that Confession is for little kids and maybe people who are becoming Priests?
He's wrong. You're supposed to go to Confession once a year, a rule of the Church, and really you should go more often that that, really whenever you are aware of mortal sin. As my priest says, the Pope goes to Confession once a week and if HE can think of things to confess, I suppose we all can.
We're lucky that we have Confession available to us at our church all the time. I didn't go for a LONG time, like more than 20 years, but once Mike went through RCIA and before I got married, I went back and have been going regularly ever since. My sister goes now, too, which I think is lucky. I feel like we gained a lot by bringing Mike into the church, I feel like we got brought in a little bit more.
On vocations - Oprah had nuns on her show yesterday and they were so nice and sweet. They seemed so, so sure of their vocation and of course they weren't going to go on Oprah and cry about "I've made a terrible mistake" but I was jealous of them and their conviction. I do feel that I have been called to be a married person and I know that I have these kids and must be called to be their mother, but man. I am so, so bad at it. I was wishing I could just go to that damned cloister and play field hockey with those nuns and not have to be anyone's mother yesterday. I wish I felt more convinced of my vocation. Seven years those nuns have to go before they take their final vows! Seven! I am not even seven years into motherhood and already I feel like a failure most of the time, I wish I had ... what? Thought about it more? Prayed about it more? Ugh I don't know. They were nice, those nuns, is all. They seemed happy.
Monday, November 16, 2009
Two and a Half Jerks
So. I was talking to a friend of mine the other night about tv shows, and I said how Mike doesn't like CBS shows and I don't either, really. We watch The Amazing Race and HIMYM, but that's it. My friend asked about Two and a Half Men, which I HATE and am completely flummoxed by. I do not understand why people like it. Anyways, she asked me why I didn't like it, and had I ever SEEN it? I said yes, I had seen it, plenty of times because it's on after Friends or something when I am nursing the baby and sometimes I can't get to the clicker, so I am forced to watch it.
I told her I don't like it because it's Anti-Catholic and she said, totally brushing me off, "oh, well, I'm not religious". (For the record, I also said I didn't think it was funny, Charlie Sheen seems like a gross pig to me and not a Lothario, and Jon Cryer's character seems gay, but isn't, which is weird). I didn't think anything of it at the time but I've been STEAMING about it ever since. I'm not religious?
What if I had said I didn't like it because it was Anti-Semitic? If it was racist? Anti-Homosexual? Anti-Woman? (It kind of is anti-woman, actually). The point is, she NEVER would have said "oh, I'm not a Jew!" if I had said it was anti-semitic. Or "well, I'm WHITE!" if I had said it was racist against Black people. I have said for a long time that Catholics seem to be the only group that it is acceptable to make fun of for profit, and this seems like a really solid example.
I told her I don't like it because it's Anti-Catholic and she said, totally brushing me off, "oh, well, I'm not religious". (For the record, I also said I didn't think it was funny, Charlie Sheen seems like a gross pig to me and not a Lothario, and Jon Cryer's character seems gay, but isn't, which is weird). I didn't think anything of it at the time but I've been STEAMING about it ever since. I'm not religious?
What if I had said I didn't like it because it was Anti-Semitic? If it was racist? Anti-Homosexual? Anti-Woman? (It kind of is anti-woman, actually). The point is, she NEVER would have said "oh, I'm not a Jew!" if I had said it was anti-semitic. Or "well, I'm WHITE!" if I had said it was racist against Black people. I have said for a long time that Catholics seem to be the only group that it is acceptable to make fun of for profit, and this seems like a really solid example.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
What does the word Progressive mean?
I just was reading the blog of another mom of an autistic child and she says she's a 'progressive Christian'. I'm not sure but I think maybe that means 'pro-choice'. I have never heard anyone call themselves a "Progressive Catholic", I wonder why that is. I know someone who is a "Catholic for Choice", which is just *ridiculous* to me. I mean - be pro-choice but you just can't - you can't be Catholic and not against abortion. Now - politically, I suppose you can think what you want. I admit it gets murky for me, there. It's impossible to be against abortion and against the death penalty and find a political party that will work for you. But if someone thinks they can be a Catholic, a 'good' Catholic (for lack of a better term, you know what I mean) and be for abortion they are lying to themselves. Ha, and they are in good company, since we are all sinners, somewhere or other.
I just heard about the big deal about Curb Your Enthusiasm and the episode where Larry pees too hard and some of it gets on a picture of Jesus and the owners of the picture of Jesus (who keep the picture of their Lord and Savior in their ... bathroom?) think it's a miracle because it looks like Jesus is weeping in the picture. I saw the episode and I thought it was funny, but I (obviously) didn't think that part of it was funny. I thought it was so stupid - nobody would keep a picture of Jesus Christ in their bathroom! I also thought it was typical of kind of a "Jewish Humor", which seems to consist of making fun of Catholics. They also make fun of Jews and other Christians on this show, so it didn't really bother me. None of it bothers me and I can't imagine it bothers God, either. Really, Catholic League? Do we really think God cares about a show on HBO?
I just heard about the big deal about Curb Your Enthusiasm and the episode where Larry pees too hard and some of it gets on a picture of Jesus and the owners of the picture of Jesus (who keep the picture of their Lord and Savior in their ... bathroom?) think it's a miracle because it looks like Jesus is weeping in the picture. I saw the episode and I thought it was funny, but I (obviously) didn't think that part of it was funny. I thought it was so stupid - nobody would keep a picture of Jesus Christ in their bathroom! I also thought it was typical of kind of a "Jewish Humor", which seems to consist of making fun of Catholics. They also make fun of Jews and other Christians on this show, so it didn't really bother me. None of it bothers me and I can't imagine it bothers God, either. Really, Catholic League? Do we really think God cares about a show on HBO?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Behavior at Church
We don't take our kids to church, after they are walking. This is just so far, I mean, we are going to take them to church some day, of course. It's just really hard right now - Anthony is LOUD and we're just not where we should be communication wise with him, so I could say "be quiet for an hour and watch the Priest or I'll beat you" or whatever and he could understand it. Ditto Maria. Usually I go to Mass on Saturday night and bring the baby and then Mike goes on Sunday.
This week, though, we went together because his mom came up and stayed with Anthony and Maria. Saturday night's Mass would have been crazy, because it was the big festival night Mass and we didn't want to mess around with it. Veronica started to cry shortly after we got there so I took her out in the foyer and nursed her and she fell asleep for the rest of Mass. So she was good, but she is only a little baby, so it's never a problem with her. HOWEVER.
When I was out in the foyer, there was a kid out there SCREAMING. She was shrieking so loudly that I took V outside a little bit because I thought it would wake her. The girl was maybe Maria's age, around one anyway. She was tired? Maybe? Just hateful, I felt bad for her and for her parents, who just didn't seem to be able to fix it. She eventually quieted down and I sat on the choir loft stairs to nurse Veronica. Then another mom came out of church with two girls, maybe 4 and 2. The two year old kept dropping Goldfish on the floor and the mom was scooping them up but there was no garbage and she had nowhere to put them - I have been there. You can't eat them like you would at home, because we had yet to take Communion, so she was stuck. Then her husband came out of church and went whipping by with their son (I didn't know he had anyone with him yet, I was sitting so I could only see adults, tall people) and took him downstairs. He said something to the wife about how "he was being REALLY ANNOYING". Then I think he took the kid downstairs to spank him, because I heard the kid crying. SIGH.
I don't believe in corporal punishment for children, but I suppose it's none of my business. But I think it's tacky and weird and a little dangerous to go spanking your kid in the basement room of a church. I don't know how hard he hit him, but man - do you really want to get involved with a bunch of people seeing you spanking your child in public? Do you really want to involve YOUR CHURCH? As if there's not enough trouble. Then the guy brought the boy (maybe three years old?) back up and went back into church BY HIMSELF, leaving all three kids with the mom.
Eventually I was finished beating -ha ha I mean nursing - Veronica, so I took her back in. In the front row, I saw a couple I know with their FOUR boys. The youngest is brand new, maybe two months old, and was in a sling on the mom. The next oldest boy was weepy and sad. I figured he was maybe having a hard time with the baby, because he seemed super over attached to the mom. The older two boys were pretty good, especially for little kids, nobody was older than six, I'd say. But the Dad never even LOOKED at the kids, the mom had to do EVERYTHING. Between the mom alone with her three outside and this mom inside alone with her four, I was really confused.
Somehow I think it might be a religious thing for these people. As Catholics, we do venerate Mary and her role as mother, and I think that we do believe, as a Church, that mothers should ... well, mother. I think we're kind of into gender roles, is what I'm saying. I believe, and this may be controversial, that I was made to be a mother, specifically my children's mother and I don't think anyone could be better at it than I, even their father. I feed them with my body, I think I have better instincts, etc. I try (and fail by the minute) to imitate the Virgin Mary, and I ask her to pray for me. I'm down with the woman as mother thing.
BUT that never means that I don't need help with the kids! If my husband sat there as I struggled with the kids, or if he BROUGHT A MISBEHAVING CHILD OUT TO ME when I was there with the other two, I would not take it well. AT ALL. It seems like a cop out to me. I can't get over how much I see it in church, though, where I assume these couples also swore to love, honor and cherish. To me, abandoning your wife with the care of all your bad kids is not very loving.
This week, though, we went together because his mom came up and stayed with Anthony and Maria. Saturday night's Mass would have been crazy, because it was the big festival night Mass and we didn't want to mess around with it. Veronica started to cry shortly after we got there so I took her out in the foyer and nursed her and she fell asleep for the rest of Mass. So she was good, but she is only a little baby, so it's never a problem with her. HOWEVER.
When I was out in the foyer, there was a kid out there SCREAMING. She was shrieking so loudly that I took V outside a little bit because I thought it would wake her. The girl was maybe Maria's age, around one anyway. She was tired? Maybe? Just hateful, I felt bad for her and for her parents, who just didn't seem to be able to fix it. She eventually quieted down and I sat on the choir loft stairs to nurse Veronica. Then another mom came out of church with two girls, maybe 4 and 2. The two year old kept dropping Goldfish on the floor and the mom was scooping them up but there was no garbage and she had nowhere to put them - I have been there. You can't eat them like you would at home, because we had yet to take Communion, so she was stuck. Then her husband came out of church and went whipping by with their son (I didn't know he had anyone with him yet, I was sitting so I could only see adults, tall people) and took him downstairs. He said something to the wife about how "he was being REALLY ANNOYING". Then I think he took the kid downstairs to spank him, because I heard the kid crying. SIGH.
I don't believe in corporal punishment for children, but I suppose it's none of my business. But I think it's tacky and weird and a little dangerous to go spanking your kid in the basement room of a church. I don't know how hard he hit him, but man - do you really want to get involved with a bunch of people seeing you spanking your child in public? Do you really want to involve YOUR CHURCH? As if there's not enough trouble. Then the guy brought the boy (maybe three years old?) back up and went back into church BY HIMSELF, leaving all three kids with the mom.
Eventually I was finished beating -ha ha I mean nursing - Veronica, so I took her back in. In the front row, I saw a couple I know with their FOUR boys. The youngest is brand new, maybe two months old, and was in a sling on the mom. The next oldest boy was weepy and sad. I figured he was maybe having a hard time with the baby, because he seemed super over attached to the mom. The older two boys were pretty good, especially for little kids, nobody was older than six, I'd say. But the Dad never even LOOKED at the kids, the mom had to do EVERYTHING. Between the mom alone with her three outside and this mom inside alone with her four, I was really confused.
Somehow I think it might be a religious thing for these people. As Catholics, we do venerate Mary and her role as mother, and I think that we do believe, as a Church, that mothers should ... well, mother. I think we're kind of into gender roles, is what I'm saying. I believe, and this may be controversial, that I was made to be a mother, specifically my children's mother and I don't think anyone could be better at it than I, even their father. I feed them with my body, I think I have better instincts, etc. I try (and fail by the minute) to imitate the Virgin Mary, and I ask her to pray for me. I'm down with the woman as mother thing.
BUT that never means that I don't need help with the kids! If my husband sat there as I struggled with the kids, or if he BROUGHT A MISBEHAVING CHILD OUT TO ME when I was there with the other two, I would not take it well. AT ALL. It seems like a cop out to me. I can't get over how much I see it in church, though, where I assume these couples also swore to love, honor and cherish. To me, abandoning your wife with the care of all your bad kids is not very loving.
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